Without further ado, Part III begins!
Where we left off.
Well that ended quickly. Also notice that Joffrey put his armor and weapons on for the upcoming battle: he is vain enough to think that his brilliant leadership wins his wars, and not his overwhelming numbers and 20+ martial generals.
The mummer's dragon is here! Unfortunately, he came after the War of the Five Kings was already over, so I doubt he will be too successful against Joffrey's armies.
Joffrey stands at the head of 28K soldiers (remember that my puppet lords in the Riverlands and Stormlands are providing the allied armies, not the Tullies or Baratheons) against the 11K of Aegon. This won't be pretty for our silver-haired friend.
Died in combat against Aegon's armies. Quite a shame. The Hound had served well. In any case, the war ended after a single battle.
Joffrey rolled a fairly high Intrigue score (I had Cersei educate him and he got a bit lucky to roll Elusive Shadow), that serves as a good defense against plots. Good thing too, Joffrey frequently ends up dead fairly quickly because a lot of people want him in the seven hells.
Seriously fk off, Iron Bank. I just spent a crapton of money paying off the Lannisters, Tyrells, and High Septon. Littlefinger really fked me good with all those loans.
Case in point.
He may not have a handle on the kingdom's finances, but he sure has a handle on Sansa. It must take some doing to seduce a woman who hates you after you murdered her family and tormented her endlessly.
It's a girl!
And now I have an excuse to torment our fine Lady Catelyn!
HUEHUEHUE
Aside from torturing the women of his fallen enemies, Joffrey also enjoys peacetime by seducing his various courtiers.
With predictable results.
We'll end here, with the Reach continuing to mount threats against us, backed by a cabal of pissed off Braavosi bankers.
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