Friday, July 11, 2014

CK Post II: Joffrey Part I

WARNING: The net is dark and full of spoilers. Read at your own risk.

At the request of my (rather few) readers, I have decided to post a Joffrey playthrough. Also at reader request, there will be some roleplaying of Joffrey. As an aside, I can no longer continue my Stannis playthrough because .7 games are incompatible with the .71 patch. I may post the remaining screens at a later date.

At any rate, Joffrey starts at a strong position in the mod thanks to the Lannister armies backing him up. However, the Iron Throne is hopelessly in debt, and the real battle is living up to the Lannister motto.

So let's get started.


Joffrey begins with a speech raging at Robb, Renly, and Stannis.


Our King-to-be leaves much to be desired, it seems. Cruel and Craven are nasty traits to have as a leader. We've got our work cut out for us.


Stannis makes a shadow baby with Melisandre, murders Renly, and lays claim to the Iron Throne. This does not always happen. If it doesn't, Joffrey still has a chance against Renly and the Tyrells, just wait until attrition wears down the Tyrell doomstacks.

The Lannister armies are forming up to fight Robb Stark, and I get this event. Contrary to what happens in the books, I reject the offer, and keep my betrothal to Sansa. Yes, it makes little political sense. But hey, this is Game of Thrones, a world in which the hard-ons of teenage boys leads to massive political upheavals (just look what happened with Rhaegar).


Balon Swann, my head commander, leads the Kingsland armies against Robb Stark. Together with Tywin Lannister, they envelope and murder the Northern forces.


Even after I spurned his daughter in favor of Sansa, Mace Tyrell sides with me after hearing about my glorious victory. With the Tyrells, this becomes a lot easier.




Euron is rallying support for his claim on the Iron Isles, which he will attack with an army of over 10K men. Seeing as this will weaken Balon Greyjoy, one of our enemies, I give him money.


Tywin destroys Stannis' army at a battle near King's Landing.


It appears Robb Stark died in combat. I suppose it was a better and more honorable death than the Red Wedding. In any case, the Northerners will push Brandon Stark as King of the North, but a crippled young boy poses little threat to our illustrious king Joffrey.


Joffrey celebrates the death of Sansa's brother by taking her "maidenhead," as the books put it. Also, Joffrey intended to make Sansa kiss her brother's severed head, but unfortunately the Iron Islanders took it after Victarion Greyjoy, one of their greatest warriors, slew the Young Wolf in single combat.


I guess Harold Arryn has a thing for MILFs, as it makes little political sense for him to marry a nearly post-menopausal Queen Dowager. Nevertheless, I accept, although Cersei doesn't take too happily to being separated from Jaime.


It's a nice gesture, I guess. The war is pretty much over, though.


The regency council is taking advantage of me. Only later will Joffrey find out just how much they mismanaged the realm for their personal gain.


It's a boy! I think "Victor" as a name is a bit out of place, but the game chose it, so whatever.




We'll end this segment with Joffrey receiving Brandon's surrender. He has no choice, as his lands were ravaged by Lannisters, Tyrells, and Greyjoys alike.



Oh, and here's a glimpse of the future:


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