Random Crap from a Joffrey Game

WARNING: The net is dark and full of spoilers. Read at your own risk.

WARNING: There will be references to rape and torture in this post. It's nothing that you haven't read about already in GoT, but I thought I would just say it, because in this playthrough I was fully roleplaying Joffrey, which included doing things I would never do IRL.

The King who lost the North. And his head.

And I made Sansa kiss it. Huehuehue.

Although Joffrey married Margaery, he continued forcing himself on Sansa when he got bored.

Notice that she died of gonorrhea. But I'm not infected, so how could she have been infected if we were monogamous?

Wait a minute...

Call me a medieval Maury. With the power of DNA-testing (using the console to see who the baby's real dad is), I found out that I am NOT the father, so I disinherited this brown-haired fool and made his blond-haired little brother the true heir-apparent. Then I tortured the bastard to death.

And then this happened. Big mistake, bish.

Joffrey's cruelty knows no bounds.

Later, even the Lannisters got fed up with the second coming of the Mad King, so they deposed him in a bloodless coup to be replaced by his son Lancel, who proved to be a kind and just man, and ten times the king Joffrey was.

"Rains of Castamere" event, only Lannisters have access to this (basically, it lets them play "The Rains of Castamere" at feasts, and IIRC you can boost relationships with vassals this way).

PoE: Ark's Build for the New League

The Path of Exile expansion releases tomorrow, and while I won't play more than 1 hr or so / day until Pulm is over, I thought I would demonstrate what I plan to run this league. I'm a pretty casual dude (inasmuch as a PoE player can be a casual, it's a fairly intense game), and I don't have much time to play, so I can't really afford the more expensive or luxurious builds.

I'll be running a 2H Groundslammer. Most people run this as a Marauder, but I'm going to run the textbook variant, which is pretty much interchangeable with Duelist (Duelist has the option of picking up Leather and Steel and Iron Reflexes and Wrecking Ball if he wants, however). And you know my motto,

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ  REP DA RED ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

So I'm going to be playing it as a Duelist.

Build Tree:

http://www.pathofexile.com/passive-skill-tree/AAAAAgQAmSu9gUd-FFJlTYTZqZSQbIdqYSGE7xpVEuF07WSjeu826Gn-YEsB5zs7BS2nMP_Td1MUcRQgns00joOxDjzfv1BH0iGGO2CR3pafyxiRVw0U9uJD2WGRzmvZtqSpcxkuwQSYCjkOJ-1fPyz7_EusquOf9kghVWwWcqlR5lnzM4cnL-RRhxl82fcytC_AGh2-7w6BK2DEkFUZ6QPuvJ_fsiE0p4TLQ5SHnsUaOA4UWD3sON7BQT862Hy7LdLFivAfBLOiABRNqWglvJst5K1nWIM473w=

Oak/Oak/Oak


Build Summary:

Keystones: Resolute Technique, Unwavering Stance, Blood Magic.

RT and US are textbook. BM may be a bit controversial, but Mortal Conviction was buffed massively with the last patch, so I want to see if you can use it to support one aura (most likely Determination, but Hatred is a possibility). If it ends up being bad, I'll respec out of it, use BM skill gems, and Determination/Hatred on mana.


AoE Skill: Ground Slam (Supported by Melee Physical, Multistrike, Life Leech, Fire Physical/Faster Attacks).

Textbook, nothing much to say here. I'm planning for a 5L (though a 4L could work in a pinch).

If I get a 6L, End Charge on Melee Stun is a possibility, as is Blind.


Single-Target Skill: Heavy Strike (Supported by Melee Physical, Faster Attacks, Life Leech/Fire Physical)

This will most likely be limited to a 4L. I'll have to see whether Life Leech or Fire Phys is better, though I'm thinking Life Leech personally. It's textbook at least.


Curse: Warlord's Mark (supported by Inc Dur)

This was reworked to have an increased stun chance...which works with our build perfectly! Temporal Chains is another option if I can finagle enough Dex and Int on gear.


Mobility: Leap Slam (Supported by Faster Attacks, End Charge on Melee Stun)

Textbook, nothing else to say.


Trigger Setup:  CwDT (Leveled) + Molten Shell + Decoy Totem + Enduring Cry.

I'm not going to use a trigger on Immortal Call. You'll see why below.


Defensive Utility: Immortal Call (supported by Inc Dur, same itemslot as Warlord's Mark and a selfcasted Enduring Cry)

This will be backed up by 7 End Charges and Potency of Will notable so I will be able to "permacall." Permacall is really only necessary for Atziri runs, but it is convenient to have in any case.



That's really it. Ground Slam got major indirect buffs this patch, so I'm looking forward to seeing how it runs. And of course, REP DA RED.


I leave you with a quote from Euron:

Perhaps we can fly. All of us. How will we ever know unless we leap from some tall tower? No man ever truly knows what he can do unless he dares to leap.


People used to laugh at Blood Magic until expjah posted his FT Mara builds, and now it's a textbook spec. So you never know what will work, and what won't. And after the Mortal Conv buffs, I think Blood Magic with one aura might be doable. It's worth a shot.

CK2: Ark plays Elder Kings

Got a bit bored of Game of Thrones, and decided to try playing the Elder Kings Mod.

Honestly, I think it's pretty cool, and I'm happy that it preserves the religion mechanics of vanilla, which I liked. However, I'm a bit annoyed at its Crown Law system and it's trait requirement for various CBs. For example, you specifically need the "Zealous" trait to use "Inquisition" (Holy War) CBs. Worse, if you want to press your wife's claim on another title, SHE needs to either have Kind, or not have traits like Envious, Greedy, etc. It's just annoying. Sure, I guess it makes sense and would appeal to roleplayers and hardcore dudes, but honestly it just adds tedium to the game. And I say this as one of those hardcore dudes who has probably invested over 500 hours into CK2.

If it didn't have increased requirements for Casus Bellis, or at least relaxed them a bit, I would completely recommend this mod, but as it stands I'm a bit ambivalent about it.

I'll post screenshots when I'm less busy. Cliffnotes of my game so far: I started as an Imperial Count-tier ruler in Cyrodiil, made a marriage and pressed a claim so my grandkid would get a Duchy, but then an amazing opportunity happened! I used Sanctioned Invasion to steal the kingdom of Whiterun away from a Lunatic Nord, and now I'm living the life up in Skyrim.

My goal with this game is to create an empire that rules large parts of Tamriel.

Herrp

So, after updating to .7.2 I've noticed a lot of slowdown, but am not sure why. In any case, I won't be playing much until it gets resolved. But I figured I'd post this:

We're gonna fight to legalize it RIGHT HERE.

Yeah mon, we got to LEGALIZE IT.

We're talking about the Right of First Night.

We're talking about lots of stuff.

Addendum to Yesterday's Post

WARNING: The net is dark and full of spoilers. Read at your own risk

I talked to the development team, and they have confirmed that a ruler will need Ambitious/Ruthless/Greedy to forge a claim on his liege's title. So someone like Tywin Lannister will be able to do this. Someone like Robb Stark, no.

Reviewing the 0.7.2 Patch

WARNING: The net is dark and full of spoilers. Read at your own risk.

http://citadel.prophpbb.com/topic6866.html

So the new patch for the Game of Thrones mod is out, I'll probably download it soon after waiting for initial reports on possible stability issues and new mechanics. But a few things of note:


Added an event where an independent King can name their daughter-heir as the heir apparent, with potential consequences

So basically you can recreate the Dance of the Dragons! For even more fun, this works best if you are playing as the Targaryen (or Blackfyre) dynasty, which does the Targaryen coin flip and makes the game quite a bit more interesting and volatile, but I guess anyone can do it haha.


- Very powerful Lords can now try to plot for a claim on their liege's title

Bringing a new meaning to the term "War of the Usurper"!

The developers say that "very powerful" means "51% or more of liege strength." In layman's terms, if you control the Reach and Westerlands and have good vassal loyalty, you can make this claim against a ruler who isn't particularly strong.

But I foresee problems happening if the Iron Throne becomes weakened after a war, and most rulers gain the ability to have this plot because the liege strength is crap. It could end in 5 different people claiming the Iron Throne, and a bunch of unrealistic wars.

I asked the developers whether this will be restricted to rulers with Ambitious/Ruthless/Greedy, but as of yet they have not responded.


- AI Lords Paramount are now slightly more likely to join rebel leaders in a mega war

Lord Paramounts (in layman's terms, the great houses like Stark, Lannister, Baratheon, etc) rarely join a rebel leader, which makes sense historically. A Lord Paramount, by definition, benefits from the status quo immensely. So why would he join a movement to create new status quo? The people who join rebels like the Daemon Blackfyre are Lords ("Counts") and High Lords ("Dukes") looking for power and glory.

In any case, I doubt this will change much, because the chance of LPs to join a rebellion are so small anyways, and any increase on a trivial base usually still leads to a trivial number. But it may make the game more interesting.


- Event chain reaving is now somewhat less dangerous

While we're at it, they should get rid of fingerbanging or whatever they call it. I have no idea why GRRM wrote the Ironborn to practice it anyways. You would think a society in which infected wounds were a big deal wouldn't engage in a dangerous activity to elicit said wounds.


- Reduced the levy and taxes gained from Pirate Dens by approx 25%
- The Pirate Invasion CB now only targets duchies (similar to vanilla holy war), and is now only usable by capable adults

The levy/tax nerf is nothing, you'll be getting most of your levies from slaves and money from raiding anyways. The other change is a more substantial nerf. Currently, Pirate Invasion CB works on the Kingdom level. This makes it a bit too easy to create New Valyria.

In any case, I think most players agreed that Aurane Waters and the pirates were overpowered, so this nerf is necessary. However, it will mostly affect the players who were trying to make massive, bizarre, ahistorical pirate empires. You're supposed to play the pirates as a small, Sparta-esque state in which helots do most of the labor, while free men fight. You're supposed to be an opportunistic raider who looks for chances to make the world fall into chaos, so you can do yet more raiding! And you'll still be able to do that after the patch.


- Cold Winters


つ ◕_◕ ༽つ GIVE WHITEWALKER つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

CK2: Maelys the Monstrous, War of the Ninepenny Kings

WARNING: The net is dark and full of spoilers. Read at your own risk.

Basically, Maelys "the Monstrous" Blackfyre is the last male Blackfyre. According to the unreliable narrator (all GoT narrators are unreliable to a degree) whom we hear about him from, he was a grotesque, hunchbacked monstrosity who had a misshapen head budding from his neck.

Since that's a medical impossibility (fetus in fetu is a very rare disease, and doesn't present anywhere close to that) and pretty fking gross, let's just assume that our narrator was biased, and Maelys was merely an ugly hunchbacked dude who may have had an abnormal mass above his right clavicle.

In any case, a bit of backstory here. Daemon Blackfyre was the first Blackfyre, one of the king's bastards. His backers claimed that the real king Daeron II, was actually the product of his mother's adultery. So Daemon led nearly half the kingdom against the Targaryens in the Blackfyre rebellion, but died in battle. Aegor Rivers (Bittersteel) took the remaining Blackfyre claimants east to exile, and formed the Golden Company. Over the next 50 years, they played gadfly to the Targaryens, plotting to take the throne and sending hosts of exiles and mercenaries to lay waste to the Crownlands and battle Targaryen loyalists. But after 3 more rebellions, they had not made any progress.

This is where Maelys Blackfyre comes in. He heads the Golden Company, and forges ties to other exiles, pirates, and mercenaries. His coalition sacks Tyrosh (one of the wealthy city-states of Essos) and sets up Alequo as a puppet despot. For several years, Maelys and his crew are BIG PIMPIN in Tyrosh, banging shawties while they build up their power base. Eventually Maelys hopes he will be strong enough to take King's Landing and put the Blackfyres where they belong.

Unfortunately, King Jahaerys Targaryen II hears about Maelys Blackfyre's BIG PIMPIN, and sends armies to put a stop to it, before the Blackfyres can mount yet another Rebellion. House Tully, Lannister, Arryn, and Baratheon all declare for him.

And this is where we begin: the War of the Ninepenny Kings.

Maelys makes his speech. Our strategy will be to fight a defensive war against Jaeherys II, picking off the stacks he lands in the Stepstones, just as Maelys did historically. Later, we will attack Dragonstone to build our warscore and hopefully kidnap the heir apparent Aerys II and his kid named Rhaegar. And then, we will take the fight to King's Landing itself.

The final part is optional. Some people think it is "gamey" to hide in the Stepstones and pick off Jahaerys II's stacks. It's not though. It's what Maelys did historically, and it's the only way you can defeat an army almost 3 times the size of your's. And remember, Maelys was content to hide in the Stepstones and build his power base until he could defeat the Targaryens. So it's incumbent on the Targaryens to stop us, not the other way around.

But regardless, we WILL zerg King's Landing. Maelys is a BIG PIMP, and big pimpin includes winning in style.

Maelys slaughters the first enemy stack.

And makes another speech.

I've got a friend!

Though I wish he hadn't, his 4K troops just ended up being warscore fodder for the Targaryens.

The Starks declare for the Targaryens...this is bad. I need to win fast. I think they declared after Jahaerys II died. Pre-madness Aerys II is a stronger king than Jahaerys II was.

I'm sending gifts and diplo to Luthor Tyrell in the hopes that he will declare for me (he doesn't). Also notice that I have taken Dragonstone, and am raising the Blackfyre banners above Crownland castles. The Targaryens are hiding in King's Landing, and I hope to draw them out.

I take Cracklaw Point to draw out the Targaryen doomstacks. I guess I COULD have engaged his 23K men in combat, but off-screen, Tywin Lannister has just finished slaughtering House Reyne, and is coming for me while the band plays the newly composed "Rains of Castamere." So we go.

I just loaded the 24K dudes onto the ships and yolocharged King's Landing. If you want to be a bit more sophisticated, you can leave a skeleton force to distract the Targaryens. Or you could do the more reliable method I mentioned earlier, and after taking Dragonstone, hide in the Stepstones while picking off small stacks. But come on, what kind of BIG PIMP chills in a tropical paradise with a harem of nubile, lust-filled women half his age?

Wait, that didn't come out right.

Yeah, I would have lost that battle. But it's too late, Targaryens! Once you have the king captured (and his heir), it's all over.

This screen is your reward for helping Maelys assume his rightful place on the throne.

NOTE: The screen also comes up if you play (f)Aegon VI in A Feast For Crows and take the Iron Throne with him.

All that said, there is one major tragedy in this story I forgot to mention: Maelys Blackfyre's wife (oh yeah, you need to get married and produce children, or the Blackfyre dynasty dies with you and thus you lose). That poor noble girl must have dreamed of a handsome, strapping lord who would love her and cherish her. Instead, she has to lie back and think of the Riverlands while an ugly hunchbacked dude pounds away at her in the time between his battles.

Can't be too fun.

CK2: Wars of the Usurpers: How to take the Iron Throne

"Tell me, what right did my brother Robert ever have to the Iron Throne? Oh, there was talk of the blood ties between Baratheon and Targaryen, of weddings a hundred years past, of second sons and elder daughters. No one but the maesters care about any of it. Robert won the throne with his warhammer."

-Renly Baratheon to Catelyn Tully

A few posts ago, we talked about defending the Iron Throne as the Targaryens. Now we're going to talk about taking it from them.

And unfortunately, as far as CK2 goes, Renly is wrong. You need a blood tie to justify your claim to the Iron Throne.

This is where Vanilla CK2 players may get worried: the game states the Iron Throne's succession law to be agnatic, meaning (in the strict sense of the word) that only men may hold the throne, and the line may not pass through a woman.*

This is where the mod diverges from vanilla, though. The Iron Throne in the Game of Thrones mod uses Targaryen succession law, which is a modified form of agnatic primogeniture. In Targaryen succession, the line can pass through a woman, but only after all possible males have been exhausted. The game models this by giving all Targaryens (and Blackfyres) claims to the Iron Throne by virtue of being the blood of Old Valyria. If I remember correctly, men get Strong Claims, women get Weak Claims (with the exception of Daenerys Targaryen, who gets a Strong Claim). And you can push a woman's claim to the throne, which is not possible under agnatic primogeniture in vanilla.

Most of these claims go unnoticed, and fade away. But a usurper can push his wife's claim to the Iron Throne, and then the throne will pass to his son.

Here's where things get nasty. The game's "megawar" system means that no two wars will be the same, and every lord has a chance to decide the side he will come down on. And you need to win not just one war against the Targaryens, but probably 2: the first war to depose your king and have him replaced by his child heir (and thus allow weak claimants to contest the Iron Throne), the second to supplant the child with your wife. Or you could wait for a another male Targaryen, or perhaps a Blackfyre, to start a war for the Iron Throne, which will then allow you to push your own claim. Or you could assassinate the king.

Be very careful about deposing the king, which lowers crown authority by one step. If you somehow get stuck in Autonomous Vassals, you aren't getting out of it, it's damn near impossible to change crown laws in Westeros.

Now let's talk about the megawars. You'll want the Reach on your side. I find that if you control 1.5-2 regions, having the Reach on your side will give you a good chance. Have the Reach at +100 opinion and a marriage tie to them (not hard if you park your Master of Laws in Highgarden). If you wait for a new ruler to take the Iron Throne, and start a war immediately, the Reach will almost always side with you. Barring that, try to have the Westerlands and some random high lords on your side. 

It will take some doing to usurp the Iron Throne, but don't you think it should be hard to become the King?

Started as Hoster Tully in 259 AC, my kid took some land, allied with the Reach, and married Aerys II's daughter. Rhaegar died of an illness, and so after Aerys II died the throne went to his kid. I pushed the wife against the kid and took the throne.

*Historically-minded readers may recognize that the English, in the Hundred Years War, claimed that Edward III had a right to the French throne by virtue of being the closest living relative of the dead Charles IV. However, the French claimed that under agnatic primogeniture ( a tenet of Salian law), the line of succession could not pass through a woman, so they crowned Philip VI of Valois.

CK2: My Favorite Event Chain

I'm sure we've all seen this before. It's one of my favorite event chains, because it can lead to massive political upheaval, war, and death just because you slept with some dude's wife.

Who wouldn't?

But the realm will regret it.

And now the Lord of the North completely despises me. His wife doesn't, however.

I'm now engineering rebellions (so I can appoint a new Lord of the North) just to make up for one night of passion lol.

CK2: The Other R + L = J Possibilities

WARNING: The net is dark and full of spoilers. Read at your own risk.

Because I was bored last night, I played the Rhaegar file through to see what the various outcomes would be.

It was as I suspected: you can have only Lyanna live, only Jon live, both live, or both die.

The scene where both of them live.

Notice that if you subscribe to Robert's point of view (that Rhaegar raped Lyanna), you can act that out too by choosing one of the first few options (where Lyanna hates you).

CK Post VIII: Rhaegar Targaryen, War of the Usurper, Part I

WARNING: The net is dark and full of spoilers. Read at your own risk.

Snape kills Dambledoor.

In any case, I decided to do a Targaryen playthrough to see how long I could keep the Iron Throne.

It was only 150 later that I realized how amazingly boring it becomes: a human can hold on to an empire indefinitely once he has figured out how CK2 works. Even when you're deliberately trying to ruin your realm (throwing people in the oubliette to become Cruel, sleeping with your vassal lord's wives at feasts to make them hate you), you can still keep the Seven Kingdoms together with a bit of effort.

Fortunately, CK2 gives you an option to switch characters, so you can try to take down the monster you spent so long building.* And of course, we have the console to add to the challenge. We will make our heirs new Mad Kings, hell, we will make them new Charles II's. Oh, and I'll legalize the right of first night if I can (though changing crown laws is near-impossible in an entity as large as the Seven Kingdoms), it adds to the fun.

So without further ado, let's step into a world of war, intrigue, love affairs, and political upheaval, as the Targaryens fight to keep the Iron Throne, but without the help of the dragons who made it.

We open with Rhaegar (me) assuming the supreme command of the loyalist armies, and telling us about his abduction of Lyanna.

I immediately plot to kill Aerys II: he's too craycray to rule, and a pale shadow of the king Rhaegar will be. Varys/Queen Rhaella/Pycelle take care of him. And yes, I know Rhaegar probably wouldn't plot-kill his own father (deposing him, OTOH...), but I think it is something Pycelle might do, or that Rhaella might do after Aerys II raped her for the thousandth time.

From a gameplay perspective, I wanted to do something a bit new. I've already won once as Mad King Aerys II, and shown the pics of what happens (Aerys burns the rebels alive). It's pretty difficult, and it's easier to win as Rhaegar, who is an excellent ruler that inspires loyalty and love.

A poisoned snake was the method of choice.

 The Usurper (Robert Baratheon) amasses the Stormlander armies, while Rhaegar consolidates the Crownlander forces. Notice that Connington and a few other Stormlander lords have remained loyal to the Targaryens.

Rhaegar forms up the Crownlander forces, in time to stop the Riverland armies.

The resultant victory, but the war is still far from over.

Eddard Stark has arrived, and his forces in this area outnumber ours significantly. Rhaegar needs to back up to rejoin the Tyrell armies (who are off in the Stormlands chasing Robert Baratheon around at the moment).

The Rebel and Loyalist forces collide, at a hill near King's Landing. Rhaegar and Eddard both lead their armies from the center. The Tyrells are on the right flank, but they are falling before the Stark and Arryn forces. Rhaegar and his Kingsguard will need to carry the day to win the battle.

And the battle is won, although Eddard Stark escapes, and one of our loyalist lords is dead.

The Rebels reform. Eddard Stark and Jon Arryn prepare for another massive, evenly-matched battle. This time, the Martells are reinforcing the Loyalists.

Gerold "The White Bull" Hightower, leader of my Kingsguard, kills Eddard Stark in single combat, and the Rebel forces rout upon seeing the death of their leader.

With Eddard gone, Jeor Mormont refuses to follow the baby Robb, and defects to the Loyalists.

True to his character, Tywin Lannister only joins the Loyalists after the war is basically won.

Rhaegar and Elia enjoy each other's company as the war winds down to a close.

(I did not expect this event to fire, it doesn't make too much sense from a book perspective. Sure, Rhaegar may have loved Elia, but he lusted for Lyanna).

Robert, who was soundly defeated and lost his best friend, unconditionally surrenders to Rhaegar. In short, he will be taken prisoner, and have to pay indemnities to the crown. All the rebels will lose their titles, to be replaced by more loyal lords.

Because Rhaegar is kind (he has the "Kind" trait in-game), he will not sentence anybody to death or the wall.

But first...

This ain't good

Noooooooooo...

(I believe there are 3 possible event chains for Rhaegar at the Tower of Joy. In one, which I showed earlier on this blog, Rhaegar+Lyanna's child, "Jon Snow," dies, but Lyanna lives, and Rhaegar can decide what to do with her. In another, which I've seen fire once, "Jon Snow" lives, but Lyanna dies. In the third, which is this one, they both die. I have a save file at the point where Rhaegar wins the war, so I can reload it a few times to see if there's a 4th option where both Lyanna and "Jon Snow" live, but I don't think there is.)

We'll end here for now.


*Assuming I can stop the AI from going retard-mode and completely destroying my empire. Bah, that's not fair, and I know it. I rag on the AI all the time, but let's be honest, the AI acts as a real medieval ruler would have. We humans are not amoral, detached, omniscient creatures. We're only human. The AI's performance reflects those limitations. A human-controlled dynasty, on the other hand, must look to the AI like a string of Tywin Lannister-level genius statesmen.